Whether you’re thinking about starting a family or deep in the trenches of trying to conceive, chances are you’ve encountered fertility advice from well-meaning friends, family, or internet strangers.
Unfortunately, sometimes this advice is based on outdated beliefs that can add unnecessary stress and even delay getting the help you need.
Let’s confront the 7 of the most common fertility myths so you can feel more empowered and informed on your journey.
1. “You Should Just Relax Because Stress Is the Real Cause of Infertility.”
This is probably the most widespread myth, and while it’s true that extreme, chronic stress can affect menstrual cycles or sperm health, stress alone rarely causes infertility.
Most fertility problems have identifiable medical causes: ovulation issues, blocked fallopian tubes, low sperm count, endometriosis, PCOS, or hormonal imbalances. Stress can make the journey more difficult and indirectly affect healthy habits, but it isn’t the reason someone can’t get pregnant.
What you should know:
• Blaming stress only adds guilt.
• Stress management can improve your emotional well-being, but it’s not a cure for infertility.
2. “Fertility Drops Off a Cliff at Age 35.”
This myth comes from a real statistic but it’s often misinterpreted. The idea that a woman’s fertility falls off a cliff at 35 stems from data on French women in the 1600s, not modern populations. While it’s true fertility declines with age, especially after 35, the drop is gradual.
What you should know:
• Fertility decline is real, but the timeline varies widely.
• If you’re over 35 and trying to conceive for 6 months without success, you may want to consider talking to a fertility specialist.
3. “Men Stay Fertile Forever.”
It’s true that men don’t have a hard biological cut-off like menopause, but male fertility also declines with age. After 40, men experience:
• Lowered testosterone production.
• Decreased sperm quality (motility, shape, and DNA integrity).
• Increased risk of genetic mutations passed to children.
What you should know:
• While men can often father children later in life, sperm quality does decline, and advanced paternal age can pose risks to offspring.
4. “If You Already Have a Child, You Can’t Be Infertile.”
Many people think infertility only happens before your first child. But secondary infertility, the inability to conceive or carry another pregnancy after a previous birth, is very real. It affects up to 1 in 5 couples experiencing infertility.
Causes of secondary infertility include:
• Age-related changes since the first pregnancy.
• New health conditions like endometriosis, fibroids, or PCOS.
• Weight fluctuations, hormonal shifts, or lifestyle factors.
• Male factor issues that developed over time.
What you should know:
• Struggling to have another child doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong, it’s a challenge that deserves compassionate support.
5. “Regular Periods Mean You’re Fertile.”
Having predictable cycles is a good sign of regular ovulation, but it doesn’t guarantee fertility. Even with regular periods, other issues can prevent pregnancy.
What you should know:
• Regular cycles alone don’t confirm reproductive health.
• If you’ve been trying to conceive for 12 months (or 6 months if over 35), consider an evaluation for both partners.
6. “You Can’t Get Pregnant During Your Period.”
This myth persists because bleeding often signals the start of a new cycle, but sperm can live up to 5 days in the female reproductive tract. If you have a short cycle (e.g., ovulating around day 10), intercourse toward the end of your period could result in sperm waiting for an early ovulation.
What you should know:
• While pregnancy during menstruation is less likely, it’s not impossible, especially with short cycles.
• Relying on cycle timing alone is not a reliable form of birth control.
7. “IVF Always Works — It’s a Guarantee.”
In-vitro fertilization (IVF) is a powerful tool, but it’s not a magic bullet. Average live birth rates per IVF cycle are:
• Around 40% for women under 35.
• 20–30% for women 35–39.
• Less than 10% for women over 40.
Success also depends on egg and sperm quality, uterine health, underlying conditions, lifestyle, and clinic expertise. Many people need multiple IVF cycles to succeed and some don’t get pregnant at all through IVF.
What you should know:
• IVF can increase your chances but doesn’t guarantee a baby.
• It’s emotionally and financially demanding, so support systems are essential.
Why Myths Matter
These myths don’t just misinform, they can:
• Delay couples and individuals from seeking timely medical help.
• Cause unnecessary self-blame and stress.
• Lead to conflict between partners with mismatched expectations.
• Prevent honest conversations with friends, family, or healthcare providers.
Busting myths helps you make informed decisions, advocate for yourself, and find real solutions.
How to Protect Yourself from Misinformation
• Consult evidence-based sources like ASRM (American Society for Reproductive Medicine), ESHRE (European Society of Human Reproduction and Embryology), and reputable clinics.
• Ask your doctor if you hear advice that feels questionable or confusing.
• Remember that fertility is unique: what worked for someone else may not apply to your situation.
• Seek support from professionals who treat your fertility journey with respect, not blame.
Key Takeaways
• Fertility myths can add guilt, shame, and confusion to an already difficult process.
• The truth is more nuanced: fertility is affected by age, health, and many other factors, not just stress or “trying hard enough.”
• Staying informed helps you advocate for yourself and make empowered choices.
Reflection
Think about one fertility myth you’ve heard that caused you anxiety or doubt. Write it down, then list what you now know to be true.
Ask yourself:
• How did this myth affect how I viewed myself or my body?
• What would it feel like to let go of this old story and replace it with compassion?
• How can I remind myself that my worth isn’t defined by fertility outcomes?